Thursday, April 19, 2007

Thirty-Five

I figure we should have a post for April. At least one. Hell, there might be two! I know! Hold onto your bobby socks for the excitement never ends here. First off I wanted to say thank you for all of the support you guys have given me. The comments, the e-mails, the e-cards...you guys are awesome. For those of you who wanted me to get help, I've actually been on depression meds since October of 2006. I recently switched meds and they have been helping a lot, it's just easy to slide back into a slump. I have also been seeing a physchologist for the same amount of time so I do have someone to talk to. She lets me call her anytime I'm feeling way past the point of no return so that's a huge help.

You guys are gonna love this one. After I wrote the last post things definitely changed for the better. I got up, got in the shower, actaully washed my hair (the combing took 45 minutes. We won't be discussing that again, k? Thx) and loaded up the car to head to Mom's. You know the mom I mean. Her second oldest son is diabetic. I can't hide shit from her. She took one look at me and started the nagging. She made me eat. She made me sleep. She made me regulate my sleeping pattern. She's such a cold hearted woman. God bless her. I'm on a normal sleeping pattern of going to bed by 2 am, sometimes earlier and up between 9 and 9:30 am. I relax through my first cup of coffee and when I go back for my second one, I leave the cup on the counter and go get dressed for the day. Get my second cup of coffee and wake up further. Have I mentioned I suck at waking up? I do. Nobody talks to me for the first hour I'm awake. My brain no worky yet.

Yes, I drink too much damn coffee for my own good, but going for coffee gets me up and moving. That's the key. Hubby helped me figure it out. He's awesome. So, since I get up for coffee here's the pattern. Get up, set cup on counter, wash a sink load of dishes. Go back with coffee. Get up, set cup on counter, put away dry dishes, go back with coffee. Get up, set cup on counter, sweep the floor, or more dishes, or start laundry, or switch laundry or whatever. I go outside at least twice a day. Once to always check the mail and stop and enjoy the sunshine or listen to the rain or just listen to the wind in the trees. I make myself stop and enjoy the day for what it is. The other time I got out every day is to see Bonnie and Clyde out back. T spends lots of time with them but I never did like backyards much. I'm a front porch kinda gal. So, outside is good.

I also leave the house at least twice a week. I go look at the little shops downtown or just head to Wal-Mart to browse around for 30 minutes to an hour. It's out. It's progress. Also, I have clean spoons people! And plates! And pots and pans! It's kinda nice. I'm cooking again since there's more eating now. I'm finding healthy things to cook and eating more salads again. Also, once you start eating? You stay hungry. What the hell? Before I wasn't eating and I had no appetite. I just wasn't hungry. Then I went to Mom's and she had me eating and I swear I am hungry all the damn time now.

So yesterday was my birthday. Daddy called and sent me pink, potted hydrangeas. Momma called and sent me an e-card. Mom called and little bro and sis told me happy b-day. Sachi sent me an email. My best friend from high school sent me an e-card. All in all, a pretty damn good day, folks. 35 may turn out to be a damn good year. Things have been looking up the last few weeks and I like the trend. Do I think the depression is over? Not by a long shot. Do I think I won't end up back in a slump? Hell no. But I am trying. I am making little changes and trying to keep up a routine. I'm looking for a job and sending in the resume. Hell, I even bought a new quilt set for my bed so the bedroom would be brighter. More Spring-y. It makes a difference.

Funny story before I head off. Yeah I know, long ass post, huh. So the week of Easter my brother and his family came in from California. T and I went down for a day and my other brother joined us all at a restaurant for dinner. 10 people make quite a crowd. So anyway, after dinner we were all talking in the parking lot and joking around.

Small side story: My dad collects aluminum cans for recycling. He's a fanatic about it. He stops on the side of the road all the time for cans. It's like a passion for him. Wierd, but ok. I would stop for yarn.

To continue, in the parking lot of said restaurant was a soda can. My dad was already sitting in his car so he asked T to grab it for him. There was the typical family teasing about my dad's obsession with cans. Dad, T and both nephews are in the car to head back to the house. The rest of us rode with mom. So as the rest of us are still standing there talking, dad starts to drive off. We're watching them drive away of course and all of a sudden the soda can mentioned previously comes flying out of the back window. We lost it. Then dad hits the brakes and nephew has to get out of the car to retrieve said can. He's laughing so hard he can hardly stand up. Over all the laughing we can still hear daddy yelling "What the hell is wrong with you? Get that can, son!" This sends us laughing even harder. Oldest Brother actually sits on the ground he is laughing so hard. I can hear T laughing in the car. I thought momma was gonna hurt herself. T and I discuss said tom-foolery on the way home and I had to pull over from driving as T tells me he was the one whole stole the can out of the cup holder in the car, passed it back to my nephew and convinced him to throw it out. I still laugh at the image of the brake lights coming on for daddy's can. Good times. Good times.

In parting I leave you with pictures. I know! Yay!

Tinker likes the new quilt, too.




Tinker's favorite spot is in my kitchen window. Ahhh, signs of Spring.



Yes the fan is holding the window open. Told you it was an old house.

My birthday present from Daddy.

Plant is up on a shelf to keep away from Tinker who has already knocked it off the table which is why I have pink hydrangeas in the window of my kitchen. This is why his name is Tinker. He tinkers with everything. Eh-vah-ree-thing.

Also if you enlarge the photo to see the plaque on the wall to the right of the hydrangeas, it's one of my wedding presents. My mother-in-law painted that. Talented woman.

25 comments:

Sachi said...

Yay, post!

Linda "K" said...

Angie - I'm SO happy you're doing better. Routine is gooooood - hard to start but gives such benefits. When I was fourty I thought - okay, I've already flunked life, didn't start that business, didn't finish college, am depressed and other yada yada, but a couple days later I had a little epiphany - flunked or not I still have at least 25 or more years on the planet. Hmmmm, what to do! Don't have to go back and retry the things I flunked at...well okay! Now I can just look at the rest with a whole new start, and it has helped me ever since. And it's so smart of you to know the big depression slumps will come again - you just develop tools to help get through them, which you're doing now. Go Girl!!!!!

Linda "K"

Knitting and Chocolate are better than zoloft! said...

A post! YEA!!!!

Miss you stalker!!

Hey I bet we could get stalkees to send you coffee for more frequent posting ;) hehe Bribery is good. Would it work???

chris said...

Dear Ms. Stalker,

I'm SO glad to see you back, and that you are feeling better than before . . . routine is very, very good, and the fact that you're getting outside twice a day or more is fantastic.

Girl. Don't make me worry like that again!

xoxo

chris said...

Also, I forgot to mention that your Tinker kitty is SOOOOO cute! I wanna squeeze him!

chris said...

Oh, and also HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

I'm apparently very A-D-D today.

Angie said...

Happy Birthday, Stalker Angie! Glad to hear your getting along better. The Can story was funny, the bar that my dad goes to collects cans, but he keeps his cans, brings them home so that he can recycle them, he says, "I paid for it, I'm taking it!" Tinker is beautiful

Angie said...

OMG, did you notice I used the wrong your? (you're), I hope the spelling police don't get me, that is my PEEVE!

Rete said...

Yay for you! I'm glad you're feeling better... and happy, happy birthday!! Woohoo!

Anonymous said...

I am so glad to see you post again and that you are doing better. Hang in there. Lots of us care how you're doing. Take it one day at a time. Jennifer in Oak Park

janna said...

So glad you're doing better! Routine really is amazing, isn't it? And I love the pictures of Tinker -- thanks for including them!

Christina said...

Happy birthday, Stalker!

Eclair said...

Welcome back! And Happy Birthday too.

Your Tinker is the spitting image of our Tootsie - the world's most intelligent (and ornery) cat. He was nearly 23 when he died (we had him since he was a kitten) and just for a moment it was like seeing him again - which was wonderful as we still miss him. Thanks, you just really brightened my day.

Carol said...

Hey Angie. Glad to see that progress is in the works. Yes, your Mom is a really evil and wonderful person. I had one of those too when I was depressed. And as for being hungry all the time? Yeah. Definitely. At least until you regain the weight you've lost. Tinker is a cutie. And Happy Birthday! 35 is way easier than 50.

catsmum said...

bout time we had us a Tinker photo. Boy, he's grown !
and I'm glad to hear that The Mom Who Didn't Give Birth To You got you headed in the right direction.
hugz from Oz

kmkat said...

Glad to hear the slumps are not so slumpy as they were. That routine you've got with the coffee is a Thing Of Genius. Good job, T! and Stalker!

Lee Ann said...

Happy birthday, Angie! Woohoo!

Yeah, that appetite thing is weird. I have to remind Skinny Boy of that all the time. The cat looks like the sort who knocks something over in the middle of the night and looks to see if anyone noticed...good thing he's cute.

Hang in there--you're doing great!

Cara said...

welcome back, honey. : )

The Boy's mom collects beer and pop cans. She has them from all over the world... They went to Rome last November I couldn't believe the 4 bags she CARRIED on the airplane FULL of cans (& this doesn't talk of the ones in her checked luggage).

Baby steps... Life is all about baby steps. : )

catsmum said...

okay Angie babe time we had us another post... you hanging in there okay this month?

Sunflowerfairy said...

Thinking of you. Hope you are well.

Eclair said...

Hi Angie! How about a post for May? If you post, I will!

Eclair said...

Just coming by to say hello. I finally posted - now it's your turn! But no pressure. Whenever you're ready.

Eclair said...

Still here!

Leeny said...

Happy Belated Birthday, Angie! Hope you're still doing okay. Love that Tinker! ;)

Anonymous said...

ATTENTION ANGELA MARIE.....this is the cold hearted woman...you know....THAT mom!!!! It looks like I now need to be hounding you about blogging!!!!! I know your being a good girl & not staying on the computer a lot....but posting once a month wouldn't be too bad! lol
I love you sweetie!!