It's A Pattern!

Hi kids! Yes, it is I again. Finally. It's been a lot of doctor's visits here at Casa de la Stalker and dealing with learning how to be a diabetic. Yeah, it totally sucks. I'm dealing though! Not near as many crying fits (yay!) and I seem to be having a lot less anxiety attacks. T is doing great on his meds so that helps a lot as well. I really don't wanna bore you with a lot of medical crap anyway. I've been at Mom's (the non-birthing one) for most of this week cuz she has a son that's diabetic so it's been informative. It also means I haven't been on the computer much this week so I'm behind on stalking and posting. And knitting. And crocheting. Ok so all I've done all week is sit around and laugh. That's a good thing, right?

I wanted to come on though and get the fish mat pattern out there. I know some of you have been waiting on it. I'm waiting on Catsmum *ahem* to send me a pic of hers and she was going to convert it over to the English instructions for me. Hee! Also, ummm...yeah. Pattern! If you have any questions you guys know how to find me. Also, for those of you who wanted it, and if you can catch me on, instant messenger information will be at the bottom. But first, pattern! Yay!!!

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Tinker’s Fish Mat

This little mat was made for putting your kitty’s food/water dish on. If your kitty is spastic like mine is, it also makes a fine kitty bed once they push their food dishes off of it and drag it to the appropriate room in the house.

It’s made with 3 strands of acrylic worsted weight for easy cleaning, a quick work-up and it makes it rather inexpensive to replace. You can use 3 different colors as I did here, 2 different colors to create stripes by switching colors at each row or every other row, or just make a solid color fish.

Ch = Chain
SC = Single Crochet
DC = Double Crochet
ss = Slip Stitch
Dec = Decrease
st = stitch/stitches

Dec – Keeping last loop of each on hook, work double crochet in next 2 stitches, yarn over, draw through all loops on hook

Yarn: 3 strands of worsted weight yarn, any color(s) held together throughout.

Hook: Size N Hook


Body & Tail

Starting at the neck, chain 12.

Row 1.) DC in 4th chain from hook then DC in each ch across to end. Ch 3, turn. (10 DC)


Row 2.) DC in next 4 st. 2 DC in next 2 st then DC in each st to the end. Ch 3, turn. (12 DC)

Row 3.) DC in next 4 st. 2 DC in next 2 st then DC in each st to the end. Ch 3, turn. (14 DC)

Row 4.) DC in next 4 st. 2 DC in next 4 st then DC in each st to the end. Ch 3, turn. (18 DC)

Rows 5 - 9.) DC in each st across. Ch 3, turn.

Row 10.) DC in next 4 st. Dec in next 8 st then DC in each st to the end. Ch3, turn. (14 DC)

Row 11.) DC in next 4 st, Dec in next 4 st then DC in each st to the end. Ch 3, turn. (12 DC)

Row 12.) DC in next 4 st, Dec in next 4 st then DC in each st to the end. Ch 3, turn. (10 DC)

Rows 13 & 14.) DC in each st across. Ch 3, turn.

Row 15.) DC in same st as Ch 3. 2 DC in each st across. Ch 3, turn. (20 DC)

Row 16.) DC in same st as Ch 3. DC in each st to the last one. 2 DC in last st. (22 DC)

Fasten off.

Fish Head

Decide which edge of the fish body will be the top and attach yarn to that edge corner opposite the tail.

Row 1.) Ch 1 then SC in next 5 st. Turn.

Row 2.) SS in next st. Ch 1 then SC in next 3 st. Turn.

Row 3.) SS in next st. Ch 1, SC in next SC and next SS. Ch 1, turn.

Row 4.) SC in next st. SS in last st.

Bind off.

On opposite edge of the body, attach yarn for the bottom jaw.

Row 1.) Ch 1. SC in next 3 st. Ch 1. turn.

Row 2.) SC in next 2 st. Ch 1, turn.

Row 3.) SC in same st as ch 1. SC in next st. Ch 1, turn.

Row 4.) SS in same st as ch 1. SS in next st.

Bind off.



Finishing

Decide which side of the fish is right side up and attach yarn anywhere. Ch 1 and SC in all st around.

Bind off.

Optional Fish Eye

Worsted weight yarn in black and white.

Size H Hook

Round 1.) With black yarn, ch 2. SC 6 times in the 2nd loop from hook. SS into the first SC and bind off.

Round 2.) Attach white yarn to any st. Ch 1 and sc in same st as ch. 2 sc in each st around. SS into the ch and ch 1. (12 SC)

Round .3) SS in same st as ch. *SC in next st. 2 SC in next st.* Repeat from * to * until you are back at the beginning ch. SS into the beginning ch and bind off.

Position the eye where you want it and sew on.

If you have any questions about this pattern, please email me at stalkerangie AT gmail DOT com and put in the subject line “Fish Mat.”

Please fill free to share this pattern with whoever would like it. You may sell anything you make using this pattern, but please list me as the designer and do not sell the pattern as your own or the Stalker will find you.

Enjoy!!

Update: I am a dork. It's been proven time and time again. I believe I said I would provide instant messenger information. Oops. Hee!

Yahoo: stalkerangie

MSN: ladydragnblade@hotmail.com

AIM: ladydragnblade18

Updated (02/19/2011) for anyone still hoping to find me: I no longer use Yahoo or AIM.

New MSN: ami0702@hotmail.com      ♥ 

Friday! Yay!

First off my apologies to Erin. She won the granny square. I only had to throw bits of paper in the air five times to get Tinker to pick a winner. The first 3 times he just watched them flutter to the ground then looked at me like I was stupid. The 4th time he showed a little interest and on the 5th try he actually pounced. Now he's mad because I woke him up from a nap to play with bits of paper I then took away from him. Poor Kitty Boo. So Erin, be aware that this hideous thing is going to show up on your doorstep. This is poor payment for you sending me Clucky Rooster. I'll try and do better next time. Hehe

The last few days have been all about trips to the doctor cuz my blood pressure is still too high so now I'm on 2 meds for it. As of Wednesday, I have been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. As of Wednesday I am going to a psychologist and I've already seen her twice. As of today I am on a paid leave of absence from work until I get my meds taken care of. My job is supposed to be ending as of December 29th. This should be interesting. I'm handling things ok. Don't worry too much about me at this point. I'll still have my bad days but I have found I have an awesome support network and people calling me daily just to see how my day is going.

Now, as promised, pictures of the animals. See, we got a new coffepot. I know! Yay us! And you know how coffepots come in those big boxes packed in shaped styrofoam? Well, Tinker found one of those pieces. He play with it. He plays in it. He also sleeps in it. Thank goodness I didn't go but him a $50 kitty bed. It's easier to go buy another $15 coffee pot. Everyone needs extra coffeepots, right?

Also, the babies are getting their hair back and Saoirse couldn't be happier about it. Well, she could but she has way too much attitude.



Alex is happy about his hair growing back, but he fell asleep watching me knit. He leads an exciting life.

You Brought This On Yourselves.

You can't say I didn't warn you. I tried to be nice about the whole knitting thing and I even went ahead and showed you a picture of what I was knitting but you had to be all "There goes that bat shit Stalker again with her 'I can't decide on a craft' trying to knit something. Then you rolled your eyes at me. Did too! I saw you! Right there through the interweb. So do you remember what I said I'd do? Do you? Well let it be know that Stalker Angie does not make idle threats. Behold, the product of your scorn. The bastard child of your snide remarks. The avocado green.

Because this is your fault, this will be sent to one of the unlucky folks who read this blog. This vortex of horror will show up on your doorstep. Granted, it's soft as hell. I can't get over how soft it is. But the colors! Eww! Also, this is made with some of my grandmother's yarn. So this is probably the original stuff. From the late 60's/early 70's. You know you want this granny square. Who wants a contest??

Yay! Ok, here's the deal. It's time for Stalker Trivia! Yay! Anyone who wishes to participate, please email your answers to me at stalkerangie AT gmail DOT com. Those who get them all right will be put on little pieces of paper. Those little pieces of paper will then be systematically, with all due precision, tossed into the air and the first one attacked by the ever spastic Tinker, is the winner. This also means you have to be willing to give your snail mail address to a Stalker. Assuming I don't already have it. Hehe. So, yeah. Trivia!

1.) Who was my 14th post for?

2.) In October of 2005, who's Pin Oak tree did I hide in?

3.) My 100th post was on June 12, 2006. What did T and I "argue" about?

4.) Not counting this post, how many posts have there been? (Hint: I told you when the 100th one was.)

5.) In the previous post, what is the second word on the 12th line?

So send in your answers folks and this avocado, orange and baby poo brown monstrosity can be yours! You have until Thursday, December 7th at 6:30 pm Central to get in your answers. Wednesday's post will be skipped but I promise cute animal photos for Friday and also who won the umm...dubious contest. Woohoo!

I'd Rather Be Knitting

There will be rambling and ranting this post. My doc switched my meds (we'll get to that in a bit) so today I have no meds so I can be prepared for the next round so I'm a little jittery and rambly today. Also I can't seem to type so any typing mistakes, well, that would be normal. Also, I think my doctor is related to T somehow because she carries stupid conversations as well as he does. Also, Hi. Happy Friday.

Ok, so I'd rather be knitting. Thrown for a loop? No? You're used to my crazy mood swings and going from craft to craft? Well, fine then. Piss off. I won't tell you what I'm knitting. Nope. Nuh uh. I'll just wait until I have some crochet to show you and you can suffer. I'll go make some hideous avacado green granny square thing with harvest gold fringe. And you'll like it.

So I went to the doctor yesterday and she said my emotional rollercoaster was due to the meds not building up in my system so we are on a higher dose now and also blood pressure meds for hypertension. Cuz, it would seem that 170/107 is not so much for the good. On a totally unrelated side note, eggs fried in bacon grease make the most kick ass sandwiches, ever. So we discussed my symptoms and she just kept harping on this whole blood pressure thing, y'all.

Me: So about the weird back pains..

Dr. Harpy: Oh that would be high blood pressure. See, your blood vessels are constricting so hard they're cramping the nerves in your back which is why it pulses with your (way too fast) heart beat and travels like it does.

Me: I think it may be a lasting result of when I hurt my back.

Dr. Harpy: Yep, definitely hypertension.

Me: Plus these flash headaches are really getting on my nerv...

Dr. Harpy: High blood pressure.

Me: *glare* So yeah it's a good thing that we'll be upping the dosage on the Prozac and...

Dr. Harpy: Yep! And putting you on blood pressure medication. Just until you get the stress under control.

Me: I am still going to Taco Bell for lunch after this. I am NOT getting a salad.

Dr: Harpy: You really are a stubborn pain in the ass. You're every doctor's nightmare.

Me: Hee!

See? Abuse! My doctor actually called me a pain in the ass! Ok yeah, it's true but hey! Professionalism maybe? Perhaps I just drive people to new heights of irritation......naaaah.

So anyway, I learned a new lesson. Don't give your mom your IM information. Just, don't. Cuz it's not so much that she chats with me. I love that. My mom is awesome and funny. It's that what would have been an appropriate phone call at home later, becomes a bad idea through IM at work. Like telling me that my oldest brother and his wife are splitting up after Christmas. Appropriate to call me at home and let me know this. Not so much at work where I can't exactly scream "WHAT????" at my computer screen at work. They look at you funny and make you take a break.

So yeah, I'm pissed at that situation. Granted any woman that can live with my brothers for more than 5 minutes deserves a medal of some sort, but damn. I don't get it. Plus, I am halfway through a pink afghan for this woman. Pink!!! Did I mention it had pink in it? Remember this?

What the hell am I gonna do with it? I hate citrus colors and pink. Luckily my best girl Pam in Houston has a daughter (Hi Jess!!!) who loves pink. A new home! Oh wait, Pam don't show this to Jess. Suprise, 'member? K. But you can tell her Hi for me. Ok moving on.

So anyway, yeah I have a full on rant about the impending break up of my brother's marriage and none of it favorable and dear sweet wooly Jesus she actualy said The Spark was gone!!! The Spark, people! Oh, I'm sorry, honeymoon is over and real life set in and guess what marriage is HARD!! It takes an ass load of work and dedication and you have to search for that damn spark sometimes. It can be an elusive sonofabitch. Grr!

I will deal with my anger later after I drive to California and slap the snot out of someone and scream in their faces until I foam at the mouth and spittle flies everywhere. Until then, I started knitting a scarf last night for my mom and damn, do I love it and hate that I have to give it away. The yarn is a shiny, sparkley charcoal grey that was my grandmother's and my mom fell in love with it. Mom just bought a new black leather coat so this yarn will look oh so spiffy with it. The pattern I chose can be found here and it's awesome. It's fun and engaging with it's little twists, repetitive enough to be relaxing but not boring. Also, I am knitting it on grandma's size 8 needles that are a very nice scarf knitting 8 inches long. This is what I'd rather be working on right now. I want to knit. *twitch*