Monday, June 20, 2005

This isn't a house....

Oh well thank the powers that be, it's still June. I would hate to have only one post for the whole month. And I'm not the only one. I've noticed on a lot of the blogs (well, Except Norma's. Norma Dear posts like clockwork. Dammit, Norma.) that it seems like eveyone is a bit behind. It just seems that June has been a too much to handle for most of us. If this damn month would end we could get on with our blogging lives and do things in a timely manner. There have been moves, medical crisis's....crisees....crisisses...uummm....medical issues to deal with, families to deal with, online gaming to deal with and animals to deal with, which brings me to the title. (Neat how I came back to that, eh? Eh?)

I don't live in a house. I live in a wildlife refuge with decent mortgage payments. I came to that conclusion this weekend. I know. I can hear it now. "Why, Dear Stalker, how ever did you come to this conclusion?" Well, I shall tell you, shan't I. It's why we're here, after all. My adult life started off with one dog. One adorable half Shih Tzu, half Lhasa Apso named Shu Shu. And she is, by the way, very, very Shu Shu. A total priss of a pooch. So unlike me it is unreal. When Shu Shu was 8 years old, her life took a humongous turn for the weird and she ended up with a new daddy and a new home cuz mommy had to go and get married. When T and I married, we decided to celebrate our union by getting a puppy. Yes, most people buy new furniture or have babies, but we are so not most people. Enter into the picture, Alex.

Alex is a full blood, AKC registered, papered and all, Lhasa Apso. We now have an apartment with 2 people, 2 dogs. All is right with the world. Sorta. Shu Shu hated Alex. Alex was all young male and all dog. Shu Shu did not care for either of the two and a combination was almost more than she could stand. She spent most of her time hiding from him. And that was ok by us because we weren't sure what to make of Alex at first. Alex was the only male of his litter (we bought from a well known Lhasa breeder. We don't do puppy mills or pet stores) and when we got to the breeder's house, he was nowhere to be seen because he was at the very bottom of a female pile. They didn't pick on him, he just didn't care. No, really. So, we got him out of his pen and he followed us all around the yard. Too cute. Home he goes.

We get him home and I am sitting on the couch playing with him, then I go to set him down. Well, when I set him down on his haunches, I was expecting a normal puppy thing of falling forward and running off. Alex sat there for a moment, folded in half and fell on his side. "Oh shit, we bought a defective dog! It's that or I broke him! Honey come quick!!" Thank goodness I was wrong. He's just that laid back folks. My mother calls him soup in a dog bag. If you pick him up he goes completely limp and every bone turns to Jello. It's a bit disconcerting at first, but you get used to it. He's very cuddly. You just have to watch him or he'll slide right out of your lap and land on the floor with a resounding 'thud'. He's so trusting. Gives me the heebie-jeebies some times.

Fast forward to six months later. Shu Shu goes into heat for the first time in 2 years, Alex all of a sudden isn't so...uummm...not gonna go there. Seriously. Let's just move on. At 9 years old, Shu Shu gives birth to her first litter of puppies. 4 puppies. 4 of the cutest little things that Shu Shu wants nothing to do with. She was a birthing pro! She never whined. Never whimpered. Never even groaned. She just pushed when necessary. And then ignored them. Hubby and I had to take them out of their birth sacks and clean them up. Hubby and I had to hold Ms. Priss down so they could eat. Hubby and I decided that we were keeping the first born. Enter Saoirse, stage left.

Saoirse is Gaelic for freedom and that is so her personality. Saoirse is pronounced "seer'-shah". You're welcome. Saoirse is the cutie pie in my first post. Feel free to "ooh" and "ahh" cuz we still do. Now we have 2 people and 3 dogs in a slightly bigger apartment. Things aren't so bad. Then we decide 2 years ago that we really need a house. Ok, I decide we really need a house, Hubby decides I've lost my mind. We get a house. Now, I've looked at real estate up North and you people are outta your damn minds. My house could easily sell for close to $200,000 up there. That's crazy! Granted, we got our house really cheap for down here too, but jeez people come on. We have a 2 bedroom, 1½ bath, 1472 sq ft., one car garage and a car port. All of the rooms are large because there are only 5 real rooms in the house. The computer room is just big enough for 2 desks and the bathrooms don't need to be big. This house cost us all of $55,000. Oh pick your jaw up. Our mortgage payments are $535 a month and that includes insurance and taxes. Anyone wanna move closer to Ye olde Stalker now? Huh? Huh?? Like I said, not bad for a wildlife preserve. Enter Penny.

Penny has been posted about. You guys all know the story. 2 people, 4 dogs. We'll move on. Enter the mouse. Yes. I have a mouse. Just one that I can tell and he's a brave little bastard. Here I am, sitting at my computer, playing Guild Wars, of course, and the bastard runs across my hand. Across my hand!! I did what any self respecting person would do. I freaked. I told T that this little nasty critter had run across my hand and his response? "It's ok honey, we're in the middle of a mission here." Yeah, I'll give you a moment to read that again. He's lucky his mission isn't to find a new place to sleep. Now this mouse has run across my hand 4 times now. And at one point he peeked out between the desk and the laptop and I yelped. The mouse squeaked. Behind me I hear "Aww baby you scared him!" Who's house is this anyway?

So Saturday I'm firing up the grill to cook me and hubby some very yummy vittles. Everything is oh so tasty from a grill. I reach for the lighter fluid and get attacked. No, I don't know what attacked me but behind the lighter fluid and the lantern out there is a nest. With 2 little spotted eggs in it. There are birds breeding in my laundry room. I give up. I'm moving into the backyard.


Norma said...

Good Lord, dearie. No offense, but maybe there's a reason the house was only 55K? Does it have windows? Walls? These are important things to look for in a house. Really. How in the heck????? ;-) (kidding, of course!)

Stalker Angie said...

Norma Dear, I assure you I have perfectly good windows, lovely walls, original tongue and groove hardwood floors from the 1940's when the house was built and the original doorbell with brass tubes hanging down the wall. Hah! Plus the CH&A unit is only 3 years old now and the dishwasher is about the same age. Wanna move in yet? hehe


erin/pinkerbell said...

LOL!!!! "...soup in a dog bag." I love it.

Sam said...

I love the doggy pic....what a doll! You know I'll love anything resembling a shih tzu/lhasa, so I'm in love.

I'm in shock at your house price!!! A house around here is well into the $300k+ range. No wonder I'm supposed to be on a yarn diet constantly! LOL!

Maybe I'll move down there and join you. With houses costing that little just think of how much yarn $$ we'd have.

carma said...


Your house sounds fun! Never a dull moment, eh?

And celebrating your union by getting a puppy sounds like a darn fine idea.

stephanie said...

It sounds like there would be fewer animals in the backyard. We have a cat just like Alex.
Love slut, that's her.

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