Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Adopt a Demon Today!

We used to have 3 dogs. I miss having 3 dogs. The worst complaint we had was "That damn dog is under my feet again." Then Penny showed up. Penny, A.K.A Demon Dog, A.K.A Creepy Blue Eye, is a Catahoula Leopard Dog. Catahoula is French for "summon forth the legions of Hell." Almost a year ago, I was driving along with Mom (of the adopted family) and crew and we came upon a puppy on the side of the road. This puppy was severely emaciated, covered in ants and had a nasty staph infection on her chest. I brought her home to heal up with every intention of finding her a new home. But noooooo. Hubby had to fall in love with this demon and decided to keep her.

Now normally, I am not this way towards animals. Spiders don't count. Anything with more than 4 legs ain't natural, but I digress. Penny did normal puppy things, then the demon took over. What should have been the final straw was when I woke up to find Merino Wool strung from one end of the house to the other. Did she get into the boxes, tubs or crates of acrylic I own? Of course not. She found the good stuff. I started at the front bedroom and gathered my only lovely Merino Wool I owned from there, through the living room, through the dining room, through the kitchen and into the back bedroom. She's still alive. My application for sainthood has been approved.

We are in the process of finding her a good home. I love dogs, but this is not. A. Dog. She has ruined all of our carpets, torn up numerous things and barks all the damn time, if by barking you mean a high pitched, ear shattering, nerve wracking screech of demons from the 9th ring of Hell. Oh I know what your saying..."But Dear Stalker, she can't be all that bad." Yes she can! I have proof! The picture below is of Penny. Yes, she's beautiful. Do not let that fool you. Don't be drawn in by it. Note the creepy blue eye. Note the flames that show up in the pupil of the creepy blue eye. The only thing keeping us alive is her not having opposable thumbs to wield a knife with.

Click on the pictures to enlarge, if you dare!!!

Creepy blue eye.... Posted by Hello

She is planning our deaths. You can see it in her face. She's just waiting for us to fall asleep seperately so she can eat us without the screams waking the other up. Our souls will be sucked into the creepy blue eye where I will be forced to watch as thousands of hellhounds destroy skeins upon skeins of Merino Wool and Cashmere for eternity. Big T (my DH) will be forced to watch demons get viruses and spyware on their computers and download mail without spam blockers. Oh the funky horror!

There's a monster on my couch. Posted by Hello

The only thing I have left to live for is the Cascade 220 on it's way here to sooth my troubled spirit. I shall make a felted bag with lovely bead handles. It shall comfort my soul and hold all my troubles. I will knit all of my anger and loathing into this bag then felt it all away. It shall be lavender at the top and base, then heather green in the center with a large monogrammed 'H' done in amethyst. It will be my triumph.

Hope everyone has a great day!!


Ryan said...

Weird. I have a "thing" for Catahoula Leopard Dogs. Have always been fascinated by 'em and their weird coloration. But don't get any ideas. We have Frankie, The Perfect Dog; adding a Demon Dog to our household would be suicide. But thanks for posting about her. I've never known anyone who actually owned one!

Stalker Angie said...

She really is a beautiful dog, Ms. Ryan. She has one blue eye and one brown eye and when she gets out in the sun she looks like a semi-new penny that's been lying in the dirt for a day or 2, hence her name. That and I found her in the road and she keeps turning up. :o) But not to worry. I like you. I would never, ever, ever ask you to take this demon from me. I need an enemy who adores dogs. *Insert evil laughter here*

Liz said...

Catahoula is actually French for "outside dog" ;> I have a Border Collie/Lab mutt who is, um, interesting. To her credit though, she loves my three-year-old like the Bean is her own.

Stalker Angie said...

Welcome to the blog Liz!! And her being an "outside dog" would explain why my house is such a shambles. Now if only I could get her to forget she can jump over my fence. :o)

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