Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Call off the dogs!!

Unassociated Press (UP)
Navasota, Texas
Wednesday, 10/19/2005


Stalker Angie, a.k.a The Stalker has been found after almost a month of missing from her online community. According to Miss Stalker, the last thing she remembers was "sumthin 'bout some big storm comin' round" and waking up in New England "somewhere." Eye witnesses claim to have seen Miss Stalker skulking about town until she saw what seemed to be a familiar face. Miss Stalker was found living in a pin oak in the backyard of one Norma Knitter. When asked about her unknown guest, Miss Norma stated, "That *&#$% is crazy. No normal person hides in someone's *@#$%^*@^% backyard! She's been staying so close to my pin oak that her body heat has kept the #^$@# thing from changing it's Autumn colors like it should. I hope they lock her creepy arse up for a while and make the internet safe again. I mean, really people. NORma!" When asked to comment on Miss Norma's statement, The Stalker just said, "She knits real purty like. Sometimes she hangs purty scarves in my tree for me to look at, too."

Miss Stalker turned herself in after hearing that Christina had finally gotten internet again and being poked and prodded by Miss Christina to update the blog. The following is her full statement:

Look, I got busy and lazy, ok? Plus I was so not in the right frame of mind to be in, like, contact with other humans. I've been depressed and cranky. Besides, I never really went away. I've just been hanging in the shadows. There has been blog reading going on, just no commenting. I now have so much to blog about there will be almost daily (like I could ever keep a schedule) updates for a while until I wind down or people beg me to shut the hell up. Plus there will be yarn porn galore, dead shrubbery porn and possiby some puppy porn pics.

Tomorrow, catching up on all of the personal business I have missed out on.

4 comments:

Ryan said...

We wuz just worried, iz all. Even TMK asked, "Where's Stalker Angie?" so you KNOW you were missed.

Stalker Angie said...

Thank you, Ms. Ryan. It's great to be missed. (Hi TMK!!!!!) But not to worry. I am back. And with a blogging vengeance. Heehee

Now if I could just get a good knitting vengeance going....

Christina said...

Finally!

Norma said...

Well, FER GOD'S SAKE! It's about TIME. And all this time you were right in my backyard. Freaksake, you coulda said somethin' -- I woulda had you in for a cuppa tea or Diet Coke or some such.