Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Why mail order is scary as hell. Also, why vets rule and dogs are a pain.

First off, I really want to thank everyone for their well wishes in the comments about Shu Shu. I cannot explain how much they meant to me and how much they helped. I spent most of my weekend all weepy and depressed and very ummm.....unshowered. Eww. Am I over it? Nope. Not even close. But I can deal with it today and that's really all any of us can hope for when we lose a loved one. Tomorrow I may be a basket case again. Hell, it may happen by lunchtime. You can never tell. But there is coping and good memories. Moving on.

Warning: This is a loooong ass post. Seriously.

Monday. Yes. Ummm....see.....there was supposed to be this lovey dovey gross post about how T and I met and it was our anniversary and he is an absolute pain in the ass but I love him anyway cuz he puts up with my shit all. The. Time. Wanna know how my 7th anniversary went? Well, I didn't get to wake up to romance or breakfast in bed or little snuggle kisses or just laying in bed with hubby and puppies in one big furry family pile of love and giggles. Know why? Cuz we have 2 dogs in the house still and it is their goal in life to make us CRAZY.

Have I ever mentioned I'm not a morning person? Cuz I'm not. Mornings are for birds and worms and shit. If I see a sunrise, it better be because I am still awake and haven't gone to bed yet. If I have to wake up for a sunrise, do not expect romance and feelings of love from me. I will bite you in the face. My dogs know this. My dogs are very quiet for me in the mornings. They don't even bark at the mailman if I haven't had coffee yet. They are either very smart puppies or I am one scary woman in the morning. So, Monday morning, well before I want to be awake (see depressed, weepy and unshowered), I hear this whining noise. And little yips. And whining some more. So I say in my best mommy before coffee voice, "Alexander, that is enough." See, this is their cue to shut the hell up. And for me, they do. For T they just roll their eyes and keep barking because daddy isn't scary. Daddy is a pushover for doggy eyes. This time the whining did not stop. Wait......no coffee, I said "enough" and there is still pitiful dog noises. Hmmm....

So I crawl out of bed with one eye open (my right eye. My left eye wakes up slower.) and pick up the boy who is whining at the foot of my bed. Because he wouldn't come to me. Again....hmmmm...this is getting weird. Boy not walking. Boy not jumping on bed. Boy whining. Check boy's feet. Y'all, I totally get brownie points for figuring that out before coffee. Now keep in mind we've had a very sick older dog in the house who has gotten all of our attention. The other 2 were given food, water and the occassional pettings, but were pretty much left on their own to rough it out. This does not make me a good mommy. We're working on it.

So what I found was that one of his claws had curled around and was in his poor little paw. Yes, in it. I burst into tears. Have I mentioned I'm not stable right now? Cuz I'm not. Stable. Not even a little. I walk into my computer room where I knew the hubby would be, crying and carrying Alex like he's some tragic figure in a Shakespearean play. My first words to my poor hubby on the morning of our anniversary aren't "Happy anniversary, baby!," "I love you!," or "I'd marry you all over again." They are "You have to help me he's hurting oh my poor boy!!" T thinks the dog is dying because I am just not stable. He finally gets me to calm down enough to hear the word paw. T checks the paws. T find the claw embedded in the boy's foot. T says "Baby, it's just his paw. We can fix this." My mind snaps and says "oh." So we clip the nail, get it out of his paw, clean it up and paw is fine. I feel pretty damn stupid.

We realize boy is really a mess so we start clipping fur. Alex does not like this. It tickles and he hates the tickles. He always snaps at the scissors all big and mean. He finally gets mad enough about being clipped so T picks him up to calm him down and love on him. Boy starts screaming, growling, yelping all at once. What the hell? So we put boy down and the whimpering thing starts again. Boy won't walk on his own. Maybe the nail was not the big thing? So into the shower I go while T calms down the boy. Off to the vet we go, me and the boy. On my anniversary. A hurt dog. After just losing one. Stable? Who, me?

Anywho, the doctor is swamped but will see him today. She finds a tender spot on his back. Boy needs X-rays. I cry. Vet thinks I am an idiot. She wants to keep the boy for X-rays and observation. She wants me to LEAVE HIM THERE AND GO HOME. I cry. Vet thinks I might be crazy. I sit in the waiting room of the vet's office for 6 hours reading a book. Vet has the nice men in white coats on speed dial. Alex gets X-rays and Vet talks to me from across the waiting room. Mustn't stand to close to the weepy mad woman who keeps saying "but we fixed his paw. It's ok now!"

Seems Alex has a teeny tiny bone chip in his back that had gotten inflamed. Boy is on 4 different meds for a month and gets to spend time in a kennel until healed. Have I mentioned I am going on a cruise? I am. I deserve this cruise now y'all. Alex is already better and we are in a power struggle to keep him from jumping on furniture. We don't care about dogs on furniture. We care about him hurting himself. The vet was super nice with him though and I was shocked at the fact that she only charged me $140 for an emergency visit, 2 X-rays, 4 bottles of doggie drugs and putting up with the crazy crying lady. This is why we always use this vet. But seriously y'all. I need a vacation.

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Yarny Goodness and Scary Mail. Also why the Stalker limits her Ebay time.

So I have aquired some yarny goodness recently because Ye Olde Stalker buys things on the internet when she is sad. Or happy. Or breathing. It's a addiction but I swear there's no program for it. Anywho, there's pictures! Yay! Cheer now my friends, because horror lurks amongst the yarny goodness. I have been tainted.

First off we have a 2 lb skein of what looks like mustard yellow wool. It is, I assure you, a lovely natural shade for now.


This is for dying experiments. Wheee!!! I am looking forward to seeing just how badly I can screw up this yarn. I'm not even joking. I have never dyed a thing in my life except my hair and I butchered it every time. This is gonna be fun.

Next is some lovely yarn from an Ebay company called Jojoland and the colorway is...uumm....hell I don't know. But there's 10 lovely skeins of I don't know in that bag.

I tried for a close up of the yarn and for some reason failed miserably. I'll try again when I get home. I was in a hurry. This yarn is beautiful though. Purples, greens, peach and pink. Such subtle shadings that they look like skeins of different yarns. Click for bigger image. It may help. It may frustrate you further. How brave are you? Mwuahahahahaa.......


The next picture is to show how brave I am. I got a mixed lot of yarn on Ebay for $5 to use for Dulaan projects and such. Do you see what's in the middle of that box? Wooden knitting needles. Worth the admission price, right there.

In the box I found a lot of yarns that will be fun to work with, but I also found some finished stuff. This is a child's size sweater found in the bottom of the box. This will go into the Dulaan box for sure. Works for me!
I also found a bag of umm....well....they aren't circles. They are definitely crocheted but I don't know what the hell they are. They could be butterflies. Maybe. Or yarn amoebas. Or....I just really don't know. I'll find something to do with them.

Then there were also some confusing items that the more I looked at them, the more horrified I got. When they say mixed lot of yarn, I really expect yarn. I know, I'm such an optimist. But this....y'all, seriously. What is this? At first I thought silk. I'm afraid to touch it. The more I look at it the more it looks like yarn intestines. It's very..shiny. And disturbing. I am afraid of this bag. From the outside it's slick...slippery....well, slimy comes to mind.

Then the one thing that finally got me, This doesn't have anything to do with knitting, crocheting, tatting, yarn, crafting........anything. Why??? Why would this be in my charity yarn?? Someone somewhere is wondering where they left these! If these are yours, please let me know and I will send them back to you. Free of charge.

7 comments:

Ryan said...

GREAT post, Dear Stalker. Loved every word, even the sad ones. And what does one *say* about the control-top panties?

erin/pinkerbell said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! you got panties (and support panties it looks like.) Good to hear the pup's ok. OUr dog was hit by a car a couple years ago I was a complete mess. I remember folks being like, "erin, it was a dog. suck it up, you're scaring the baby." Some people just don't get it.

Imbrium said...

Dude...you bought underwear on the internet. *laugh*

I'm glad boy's going to be okay. And don't worry about being crazy crying lady. Our pets are our furry kids, and they get and give just as much love. Don't ever let anyone make you feel bad about loving your pets.

Norma said...

Wonderful post, even the sad parts. Wait, do I hear an echo in here? Love the girdle panties. Were they at least CLEAN? Ugh, I just hurt myself.

You got wooden needles! DAMN STRAIGHT, it's worth the price of admission, even for the yarny intestines and crocheted amoebas. Not only THAT, but a completely kid sweater for the Dulaan box. Pretty cool, that.

Carrie K said...

Girdle panties? That is just freaky. But the yarn and wooden needles are good.

I'm so sorry to hear about Shu Shu. I lost my almost-20-year-old cat, Sheba, in December and probably shouldn't tell anyone how much it still makes me cry.

I don't think you over reacted at all over the Boy! Especially after Shu Shu. Your vet should be used to that - I would have done the same thing. Nice rates though.

(I found you via Imbrium....)

carma said...

Oh Sweet Sweet Stalker. Glad the little one is going to be ok.

I keep my cats remains on my desk at work so she's still near me all the time.

I would love to claim those just for the novelty factor. Come on, admit it, it brought a chuckle to your day. Some days that is seriously worth a lot. :)

Anonymous said...

I LOVED this. It made me laugh, and cry. Thanks for sharing.