Monday, July 10, 2006

A Conversation Had Not 5 Minutes Ago.

Not much to post today because I am being very girly and bloaty and crampy and dear sweet baby Jesus on a pogo stick, very, very bleedy. T made the mistake of coming over to my desk at work. In case you didn't know, we work for the same company in different departments.

Me:Hi baby, will you rip my uterus out?

T: Uh, no?

Me: Now.

T: What the hell is wrong with you?

Me: I'm crampy blah and bloaty blah and bleedy blah.

T: Well, you'll be fine. No body part rip out thing...what you said.

Me: But look, I just read where Ms. Ryan got to have hers out.

T after reading blog post: Dear God, woman! She had fibroids! You have cramps! No! Absolutely not!

Me: *whine*

T: Is Ryan going to be ok? Did you send her a get well card at least?

Me: You always liked her more than me. You suck.

T: Ok, this conversation is over. I'm going back to my desk.

Me: Fucker

T: Love you too, baby.

Someone hand me yarn. Please.


pacalaga said...

I knew I liked you for a reason.

PS - Tell him that chocolate will help you feel better. (It may not work, but chocolate can never hurt.)

P-la said...

Lorna's Laces, STAT!!!

Norma said...

Stalker, you are totally batshit. (p.s. sorry I wasn't sensitive enough to remember to warn the arachnophobes about my post. Forgive?)

But seriously, I have more than once wished for the same thing. I guess, from reading Ryan's experience, I didn't know for what I was asking.

chris said...


At least your T knows who Ryan is . . . B has no clue (he "listens like a man").

Ryan said...

I'm astonished to find myself this much the object of discussion! And, Dear Stalker, I was hoping I wouldn't have to dig this deep into my bag of cheap but gruesome tricks but here, among others, are two reasons why I would discourage the arbitrary removal of one's uterus:

1. The anaesthesiologist "missed" when she put the epidural in and I leaked out more spinal fluid than one ever should. This made everyone--the anaesthesiologist, both surgeons, the nurses--very, very Nervous. In the words of one nurse, "I've worked here twenty years, and I've never seen THAT happen before!" Oy.

2. After the hysterectomy, in order to do the simple (yet explosive) things, like cough or sneeze, you have to hold your entire adbomen in place with a death grip because it Hurts So Much.

Oh, and did you even READ about the Wall?

Want more? I've got more!