It's A Pattern!

Hi kids! Yes, it is I again. Finally. It's been a lot of doctor's visits here at Casa de la Stalker and dealing with learning how to be a diabetic. Yeah, it totally sucks. I'm dealing though! Not near as many crying fits (yay!) and I seem to be having a lot less anxiety attacks. T is doing great on his meds so that helps a lot as well. I really don't wanna bore you with a lot of medical crap anyway. I've been at Mom's (the non-birthing one) for most of this week cuz she has a son that's diabetic so it's been informative. It also means I haven't been on the computer much this week so I'm behind on stalking and posting. And knitting. And crocheting. Ok so all I've done all week is sit around and laugh. That's a good thing, right?

I wanted to come on though and get the fish mat pattern out there. I know some of you have been waiting on it. I'm waiting on Catsmum *ahem* to send me a pic of hers and she was going to convert it over to the English instructions for me. Hee! Also, ummm...yeah. Pattern! If you have any questions you guys know how to find me. Also, for those of you who wanted it, and if you can catch me on, instant messenger information will be at the bottom. But first, pattern! Yay!!!

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Tinker’s Fish Mat

This little mat was made for putting your kitty’s food/water dish on. If your kitty is spastic like mine is, it also makes a fine kitty bed once they push their food dishes off of it and drag it to the appropriate room in the house.

It’s made with 3 strands of acrylic worsted weight for easy cleaning, a quick work-up and it makes it rather inexpensive to replace. You can use 3 different colors as I did here, 2 different colors to create stripes by switching colors at each row or every other row, or just make a solid color fish.

Ch = Chain
SC = Single Crochet
DC = Double Crochet
ss = Slip Stitch
Dec = Decrease
st = stitch/stitches

Dec – Keeping last loop of each on hook, work double crochet in next 2 stitches, yarn over, draw through all loops on hook

Yarn: 3 strands of worsted weight yarn, any color(s) held together throughout.

Hook: Size N Hook


Body & Tail

Starting at the neck, chain 12.

Row 1.) DC in 4th chain from hook then DC in each ch across to end. Ch 3, turn. (10 DC)


Row 2.) DC in next 4 st. 2 DC in next 2 st then DC in each st to the end. Ch 3, turn. (12 DC)

Row 3.) DC in next 4 st. 2 DC in next 2 st then DC in each st to the end. Ch 3, turn. (14 DC)

Row 4.) DC in next 4 st. 2 DC in next 4 st then DC in each st to the end. Ch 3, turn. (18 DC)

Rows 5 - 9.) DC in each st across. Ch 3, turn.

Row 10.) DC in next 4 st. Dec in next 8 st then DC in each st to the end. Ch3, turn. (14 DC)

Row 11.) DC in next 4 st, Dec in next 4 st then DC in each st to the end. Ch 3, turn. (12 DC)

Row 12.) DC in next 4 st, Dec in next 4 st then DC in each st to the end. Ch 3, turn. (10 DC)

Rows 13 & 14.) DC in each st across. Ch 3, turn.

Row 15.) DC in same st as Ch 3. 2 DC in each st across. Ch 3, turn. (20 DC)

Row 16.) DC in same st as Ch 3. DC in each st to the last one. 2 DC in last st. (22 DC)

Fasten off.

Fish Head

Decide which edge of the fish body will be the top and attach yarn to that edge corner opposite the tail.

Row 1.) Ch 1 then SC in next 5 st. Turn.

Row 2.) SS in next st. Ch 1 then SC in next 3 st. Turn.

Row 3.) SS in next st. Ch 1, SC in next SC and next SS. Ch 1, turn.

Row 4.) SC in next st. SS in last st.

Bind off.

On opposite edge of the body, attach yarn for the bottom jaw.

Row 1.) Ch 1. SC in next 3 st. Ch 1. turn.

Row 2.) SC in next 2 st. Ch 1, turn.

Row 3.) SC in same st as ch 1. SC in next st. Ch 1, turn.

Row 4.) SS in same st as ch 1. SS in next st.

Bind off.



Finishing

Decide which side of the fish is right side up and attach yarn anywhere. Ch 1 and SC in all st around.

Bind off.

Optional Fish Eye

Worsted weight yarn in black and white.

Size H Hook

Round 1.) With black yarn, ch 2. SC 6 times in the 2nd loop from hook. SS into the first SC and bind off.

Round 2.) Attach white yarn to any st. Ch 1 and sc in same st as ch. 2 sc in each st around. SS into the ch and ch 1. (12 SC)

Round .3) SS in same st as ch. *SC in next st. 2 SC in next st.* Repeat from * to * until you are back at the beginning ch. SS into the beginning ch and bind off.

Position the eye where you want it and sew on.

If you have any questions about this pattern, please email me at stalkerangie AT gmail DOT com and put in the subject line “Fish Mat.”

Please fill free to share this pattern with whoever would like it. You may sell anything you make using this pattern, but please list me as the designer and do not sell the pattern as your own or the Stalker will find you.

Enjoy!!

Update: I am a dork. It's been proven time and time again. I believe I said I would provide instant messenger information. Oops. Hee!

Yahoo: stalkerangie

MSN: ladydragnblade@hotmail.com

AIM: ladydragnblade18

Updated (02/19/2011) for anyone still hoping to find me: I no longer use Yahoo or AIM.

New MSN: ami0702@hotmail.com      ♥ 

Friday! Yay!

First off my apologies to Erin. She won the granny square. I only had to throw bits of paper in the air five times to get Tinker to pick a winner. The first 3 times he just watched them flutter to the ground then looked at me like I was stupid. The 4th time he showed a little interest and on the 5th try he actually pounced. Now he's mad because I woke him up from a nap to play with bits of paper I then took away from him. Poor Kitty Boo. So Erin, be aware that this hideous thing is going to show up on your doorstep. This is poor payment for you sending me Clucky Rooster. I'll try and do better next time. Hehe

The last few days have been all about trips to the doctor cuz my blood pressure is still too high so now I'm on 2 meds for it. As of Wednesday, I have been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. As of Wednesday I am going to a psychologist and I've already seen her twice. As of today I am on a paid leave of absence from work until I get my meds taken care of. My job is supposed to be ending as of December 29th. This should be interesting. I'm handling things ok. Don't worry too much about me at this point. I'll still have my bad days but I have found I have an awesome support network and people calling me daily just to see how my day is going.

Now, as promised, pictures of the animals. See, we got a new coffepot. I know! Yay us! And you know how coffepots come in those big boxes packed in shaped styrofoam? Well, Tinker found one of those pieces. He play with it. He plays in it. He also sleeps in it. Thank goodness I didn't go but him a $50 kitty bed. It's easier to go buy another $15 coffee pot. Everyone needs extra coffeepots, right?

Also, the babies are getting their hair back and Saoirse couldn't be happier about it. Well, she could but she has way too much attitude.



Alex is happy about his hair growing back, but he fell asleep watching me knit. He leads an exciting life.

You Brought This On Yourselves.

You can't say I didn't warn you. I tried to be nice about the whole knitting thing and I even went ahead and showed you a picture of what I was knitting but you had to be all "There goes that bat shit Stalker again with her 'I can't decide on a craft' trying to knit something. Then you rolled your eyes at me. Did too! I saw you! Right there through the interweb. So do you remember what I said I'd do? Do you? Well let it be know that Stalker Angie does not make idle threats. Behold, the product of your scorn. The bastard child of your snide remarks. The avocado green.

Because this is your fault, this will be sent to one of the unlucky folks who read this blog. This vortex of horror will show up on your doorstep. Granted, it's soft as hell. I can't get over how soft it is. But the colors! Eww! Also, this is made with some of my grandmother's yarn. So this is probably the original stuff. From the late 60's/early 70's. You know you want this granny square. Who wants a contest??

Yay! Ok, here's the deal. It's time for Stalker Trivia! Yay! Anyone who wishes to participate, please email your answers to me at stalkerangie AT gmail DOT com. Those who get them all right will be put on little pieces of paper. Those little pieces of paper will then be systematically, with all due precision, tossed into the air and the first one attacked by the ever spastic Tinker, is the winner. This also means you have to be willing to give your snail mail address to a Stalker. Assuming I don't already have it. Hehe. So, yeah. Trivia!

1.) Who was my 14th post for?

2.) In October of 2005, who's Pin Oak tree did I hide in?

3.) My 100th post was on June 12, 2006. What did T and I "argue" about?

4.) Not counting this post, how many posts have there been? (Hint: I told you when the 100th one was.)

5.) In the previous post, what is the second word on the 12th line?

So send in your answers folks and this avocado, orange and baby poo brown monstrosity can be yours! You have until Thursday, December 7th at 6:30 pm Central to get in your answers. Wednesday's post will be skipped but I promise cute animal photos for Friday and also who won the umm...dubious contest. Woohoo!

I'd Rather Be Knitting

There will be rambling and ranting this post. My doc switched my meds (we'll get to that in a bit) so today I have no meds so I can be prepared for the next round so I'm a little jittery and rambly today. Also I can't seem to type so any typing mistakes, well, that would be normal. Also, I think my doctor is related to T somehow because she carries stupid conversations as well as he does. Also, Hi. Happy Friday.

Ok, so I'd rather be knitting. Thrown for a loop? No? You're used to my crazy mood swings and going from craft to craft? Well, fine then. Piss off. I won't tell you what I'm knitting. Nope. Nuh uh. I'll just wait until I have some crochet to show you and you can suffer. I'll go make some hideous avacado green granny square thing with harvest gold fringe. And you'll like it.

So I went to the doctor yesterday and she said my emotional rollercoaster was due to the meds not building up in my system so we are on a higher dose now and also blood pressure meds for hypertension. Cuz, it would seem that 170/107 is not so much for the good. On a totally unrelated side note, eggs fried in bacon grease make the most kick ass sandwiches, ever. So we discussed my symptoms and she just kept harping on this whole blood pressure thing, y'all.

Me: So about the weird back pains..

Dr. Harpy: Oh that would be high blood pressure. See, your blood vessels are constricting so hard they're cramping the nerves in your back which is why it pulses with your (way too fast) heart beat and travels like it does.

Me: I think it may be a lasting result of when I hurt my back.

Dr. Harpy: Yep, definitely hypertension.

Me: Plus these flash headaches are really getting on my nerv...

Dr. Harpy: High blood pressure.

Me: *glare* So yeah it's a good thing that we'll be upping the dosage on the Prozac and...

Dr. Harpy: Yep! And putting you on blood pressure medication. Just until you get the stress under control.

Me: I am still going to Taco Bell for lunch after this. I am NOT getting a salad.

Dr: Harpy: You really are a stubborn pain in the ass. You're every doctor's nightmare.

Me: Hee!

See? Abuse! My doctor actually called me a pain in the ass! Ok yeah, it's true but hey! Professionalism maybe? Perhaps I just drive people to new heights of irritation......naaaah.

So anyway, I learned a new lesson. Don't give your mom your IM information. Just, don't. Cuz it's not so much that she chats with me. I love that. My mom is awesome and funny. It's that what would have been an appropriate phone call at home later, becomes a bad idea through IM at work. Like telling me that my oldest brother and his wife are splitting up after Christmas. Appropriate to call me at home and let me know this. Not so much at work where I can't exactly scream "WHAT????" at my computer screen at work. They look at you funny and make you take a break.

So yeah, I'm pissed at that situation. Granted any woman that can live with my brothers for more than 5 minutes deserves a medal of some sort, but damn. I don't get it. Plus, I am halfway through a pink afghan for this woman. Pink!!! Did I mention it had pink in it? Remember this?

What the hell am I gonna do with it? I hate citrus colors and pink. Luckily my best girl Pam in Houston has a daughter (Hi Jess!!!) who loves pink. A new home! Oh wait, Pam don't show this to Jess. Suprise, 'member? K. But you can tell her Hi for me. Ok moving on.

So anyway, yeah I have a full on rant about the impending break up of my brother's marriage and none of it favorable and dear sweet wooly Jesus she actualy said The Spark was gone!!! The Spark, people! Oh, I'm sorry, honeymoon is over and real life set in and guess what marriage is HARD!! It takes an ass load of work and dedication and you have to search for that damn spark sometimes. It can be an elusive sonofabitch. Grr!

I will deal with my anger later after I drive to California and slap the snot out of someone and scream in their faces until I foam at the mouth and spittle flies everywhere. Until then, I started knitting a scarf last night for my mom and damn, do I love it and hate that I have to give it away. The yarn is a shiny, sparkley charcoal grey that was my grandmother's and my mom fell in love with it. Mom just bought a new black leather coat so this yarn will look oh so spiffy with it. The pattern I chose can be found here and it's awesome. It's fun and engaging with it's little twists, repetitive enough to be relaxing but not boring. Also, I am knitting it on grandma's size 8 needles that are a very nice scarf knitting 8 inches long. This is what I'd rather be working on right now. I want to knit. *twitch*

A Good Day

Granted, it's only noon, but it's been a good day so far. I'm feeling up and positive because it seems like things are getting done. I'm not stressing as much about the job situation. T will still have his for a couple of months after me and I'll have unemployment coming in. I have time. I don't need to panic. Something will come along and it'll be good. If I apply somewhere and don't get a call, then it's not where I am meant to be.

T is finally on meds for HIS depression and stress and it's made life more bearable for me. He's in the middle of a really bad exacerbation with his MS and I'm doing my best to not let it drag me down. He doesn't need to see how badly I am taking this exacerbation. That's the hardest part about marriage or a partnership. You hold things in not because you don't want to share them but because you love them and don't want to burden them. We both do it. Hell, we all do it.

I just got off the phone with him and he just finished his first visit to a psych doctor. He sounds awesome. He's actually positive about going to this doctor. He likes what the doctor had to say and was very open about the visit they had. This is such a good thing I could cry with relief. There's hope there. He hasn't sounded this good in almost 2 years. My mind is doing cartwheels. My body is saying "Dear God maybe she'll get some sleep and relax now!!"

I have an appointment for tomorrow to talk to my doc about my meds, side effects and any symptoms I've been having that I forgot to mention before. I made a list this time. It's scary that I was able to make a fucking LIST. Lists are for groceries and things to do. Not symptoms. But that's ok! I'm accepting the fact that I cannot do this alone. I'm accepting the fact that I'm going to need meds for a while to get through this and that's it's not a permanent thing. I am accepting that pushing my friends and family away is not going to do me any good nor would it be very successful. It worked in the past. I have new friends now. They're as stubborn as I am. This is scary.

I also realize that stopping the blog would be a really dumb ass move. It's not just a way to connect with everyone. I feel better when I write out what I'm feeling or thinking. You guys make an AWESOME sounding board. I cannot thank you enough for the kind words and the advice. I need to keep reminding myself that I'm not alone, I don't have to be alone and that I'm not the only one that is going through, or has gone through, something like this.

Your comments have made me laugh and kept me going. They've made me cry and cope. Some of you have given me things to research and that's the kinda stuff I live for. Some of you (coughChristinacough) have called me a dork and made me cry not because of being called a dork, but because it's such a normal occurrence from that person, that it made me feel like things were going to be ok. Things are so out of whack with life and it's, I don't know, normal. I should probably be depressed that being called a dork is normal. It just makes me laugh. Cuz I am a dork. Also, now I am rambling. Also, being mushy, eww. Sorry.

So anyway, yeah. Having a good day. I have local friends who love me and worry about me. I have friends all over that buck me up, make me laugh and reveal my dorkiness to the world simply because I love yarn just as much as they do. You guys rock.

Hope you have a great day. See ya Friday. :)

Surfacing.

Hi! I umm...yeah. This makes 4 posts for all of November. That's really sad. It's not that nothing went on for the entire freaking month of November, I just have been in this fog. Yes, this is mostly a post for me to get out some things in writing. If you don't want to read further, just skip to comments and tell me to get the hell over it already and bring back the funny. :)

So I finally went to the doctor at the end of October and did you know it takes some meds forever to build up in your system? Totally. So the doctor says I'm stressed. I know! I was shocked. Stupid conversation follows and points out the extent of my stubbornness.

Doc: So why are you here? What can we do for you?

Me: Well, since about February, there's been MAYBE 30 days this year where I haven't been vomiting at least once and I'm getting these flash headaches and weird nerve issues in my back.

Doc: February, huh? And you're just now coming in why?

Me: I'm stubborn? I don't like doctors? I always think things will fix themselves? I have a healthy sense of denial?

Doc: Mmhmmm. Ok, so we're going to run some tests on your liver and pancreas but I'm betting it's all stress related.

Me: Stress? I never have serious stress issues.

Doc: Ok, so what's going on in your life right now that COULD cause stress if you were so inclined to be effected by said possible stress.

Me: Umm....my hubby has MS and is having an exacerbation, I'm being laid off in December, he's being laid off in February, we have 5 dogs and a cat to take care of, there's never enough time in the day and I'm still dealing with the loss of my grandmother and my dog. Granted, Grandma rates above the dog, but still.

Doc: Ok, so I'm putting you on Prozac for 30 days and then you're coming back in.

Me: Oh hell no. I don't need Prozac. Crazy people who are overwhelmed take Prozac. I'm hunky dory.

Doc: Which is why your blood pressure is sky high, your resting pulse rate is over 100, you've sat here and chewed off 3 of your fingernails while talking to me and you've scratched your face until you're bleeding? That's your hunky dory?

Me: Shut up.

Doc: You're going to try the Prozac for 30 days. You're going to come back and see me at the end of that or before the end of the year I'll see you after your heart attack and/or stroke. Did you know you've been crying for 30 minutes now?

Me: Oh and my eyes are leaky. I'm not crying. It's medical.

Doc: Here's your prescription.

So yes, I have been taking Prozac for the last month and getting used to it. Yes, I'm going back this week because emotionally I'm on a roller coaster. I take it in the mornings and my days are whacky. By the time afternoon rolls around, I feel pretty even keel. Sloggy, but even keel. By evening I'm giddy and my brain races. I go to bed and can't sleep cuz my mind won't shut up. In the morning I wake up on rock bottom and feel like I have to start all over. This isn't what is supposed to be happening me thinks. According to Non-birth Mom (she requested it be shortened from Mom of the she did not give birth to me variety. Silly woman) I should have been on this stuff over a year ago. I tend to agree with her.

I'm trying to get myself pulled together. I'm trying to take interest in those things that once made me happy. I'm trying to find upbeat positive things to post and I'm trying so hard to get back into reading the blogs and commenting. I find when I read them here lately that I don't want to comment because I've been away so long and will anyone even remember me on some of them and can I make a comment without sounding snarky or depressed? I'm trying not to cry because when I read the blogs I'm so behind on what is happening with everyone and I miss everyone and following along.

I find that when I get overly stressed or depressed that I push people away and try to fade out of everyone's life. If I don't face my friends, I don't have to face my issues, right? Several times these last 2 months I have had serious thoughts of shutting down the blog, closing my emails and just letting Stalker Angie fade away from the blog life and move on. I realize now that that's not fair. It's not fair to me or any of you guys. I'm going to do my best to post on a regular schedule even if it's just a pic of Tinker or one of the puppies. I'm going to do my best to reconnect with all of my blogs and stay updated. If I miss a post, feel free to bug the snot out of me until I post something. I'm on yahoo, AIM and MSN. Christina does an awesome job of that when she can. Hell, bug her until she bugs me. It's not like T and I don't have dumb ass conversations on a daily basis I could post. Also, I need to be having pics of FO's for Christmas to post. See? Sometimes it just takes a cattle prod to the butt.

Guess who swatched!!

No, it wasn't me, but I have a confession of swatching. I do. See, I talk to Christina just about daily (until she remembers she has more of a life than I do) on Yahoo and I was being her seaming support for her sweater. Then....she confessed it. Just came right out and blurted! She swatched for her sweater. She's a swatcher now! And now for the confession:

[17:54] lionessria: I'm sleeve-seaming now! lol

[17:54] stalkerangie: *scared*

[17:55] lionessria: I'd kinda like to know why they're so short though.

[17:56] stalkerangie: uh oh. that doesn't bode well

[17:56] stalkerangie: umm...3/4 sleeves maybe?

[17:56] lionessria: we're going to have to have some serious ribbing. lol

[17:56] stalkerangie: don't make it look like an 80's sweater lol

[17:57] lionessria: Pfft

[17:57] stalkerangie: all tight below the elbow so it's poofy above. not a good look lol

[17:58] lionessria: Or I could actually knit a swatch in stockingette and knit downwards before starting the ribbing.

[17:58] stalkerangie: oh now that sounds like a much better idea

[17:59] lionessria: Swatch! *runs away*

[17:59] stalkerangie: lol

[17:59] stalkerangie: I've never swatched before....

[17:59] stalkerangie: unless you count that scarf I never finished....I could call it a swatch

[18:00] lionessria: You wanna know a secret? I actually swatched for this sweater on the machine before I started.

[18:01] stalkerangie: I am so blogging that. I'm telling the world!

[18:01] stalkerangie: or, the few people who read my blog anyway

[18:02] lionessria: Go ahead. I was going to anyways when I posted the finished pics and stuff.

[18:02] stalkerangie: well damn. it's no fun then. lol

[18:02] lionessria: Oh right. I mean.. No! No! You can't!

[18:03] stalkerangie: lmao. yay!! now I can! I shall blog it and tell everyone!!

So there it is folks! Head over and mock her for the swatcher she is. Or bug her on Yahoo and tell her you heard of her swatchiness. Swatching indeed.

Slog Blog

I keep slogging through my brain to try and figure out what to write. I'm trying not to create my own personal pitty party on the blog. I'm struggling with dealing with the impending job loss, T's MS, having to go to work everyday knowing that I am just spinning my wheels because in just over a month it will be someone else's job. For those of you that were in Boerne this last weekend I extend my sincerest apologies for missing it. I'm trying to pick myself back up and I don't think I would have made the weekend without crying into the alpaca and that would have just been awkward. I spent the weekend instead crying into my mom's lap and getting a new batch of yarn that used to be my grandmother's and crying because I miss her oh, and there was crying because I woke up Sunday and my folks were out of vanilla creamer. Are you sensing a trend?

So that's why I haven't posted in a week and why I missed the coolest time in Boerne this last weekend. I'll make it up at the next meet n greet. I pinky swear it. I swear on my stash. Yeah. So take that. So to kinda keep my spirits up, I have been crocheting and have I got something for you guys. Remember this?
Some of you expressed interest in a fish mat for your knitter kitties. Guess what I did! It's not tested yet but I have a person in mind to test the pattern for me. Tada!!!! I designed a fish mat!

And here it is in use by Tinker's food dish.

It would be very simple to do a striped fish or a solid color. If anyone wants a fish mat, let me know. Once the pattern is tested, I'll post it and share. :)

Nekkid and Pissed

Now before you sickos out there (that would be you....you think I'm funny and that makes you sick. Hee!) get any ideas about this post, I'm not nekkid. Nor are there any pics of me nekkid. You may thank me later. I am, however, pissed. At myself. See, this post was supposed to happen this morning. Or, early afternoon, whatever. Earlier than now anyway. Here's what happened.

See, I got up late this morning. No, later than usual. Shut up. So I didn't have time over my coffee this morning to upload pics or throw them onto my handy-dandy thumb drive for uploading from work. Yes, I suck, I know. So T says he'll take my memory card out of my camera and send me the files at work. Yay! So around mid afternoon I send him an IM about the pictures. Yes, it's another installment of stupid conversations. Yes, I know it's not original.

Me: Pictures! I demand pictures for blogging!

T: Ok, hold on. Getting you camera.

T: Umm....Where's your memory card for you camera?

Me: Umm...shit?

T:........

Me: Is it in my computer?

T: Yes. It is. Did you take pictures without your memory card?

Me: Maybe...

T: *sigh* Ok, where is the cord for your camera?

Me: Umm...shit?

T: Baby, where is the cord.

Me: In my purse. At work. With me.

T signs off the instant messenger. Yeah that's kinda how my day went. But I'm home now! I have pictures for you! Now we get on with the nekkid! Woohoo! I know some of you are wonder what was lurking beneath the carpet of death in my dining room. Who wants pictures?? Oh, you do? Ok! Behold, my nekkid dining room floor!






That, my dear Stalkees, is the original tongue 'n groove hardwood floors from when the house was built in the 1920's. We asked the neighbors who have the same floor and who's house was built by the same guy who built ours. They are also the people we bought the house from. It's not in perfect shape, but it just needs to be sanded, stained and water sealed. None of the boards are cracked or coming up, none separating and all of the problem spots can easily be sanded out. I cannot tell you how excited I am. The neighbors said they'd even come over and help since they did their own floors and know how to work the sanders and such. Woohoo!! Here is proof of some of the rough spots. Trust me, there are larger areas, but I'm not sharing those.



So, speaking of nekkid, yesterday the puppies had an appointment for the groomer. I make the mistake of letting T take them in for the first time ever. I know how I like them cut. He doesn't. He tells them he just wants a little hair left on the ends of their tails. That's ALL they have left people. I get home yesterday and I'm convinced he brought home the wrong dogs. I sent in Lhasa Apso's. I got back pugs. Proof of the nekkid!



Poor Alex. The boy has been in a bad mood since he got home yesterday. Then there's Saoirse. She just spent all day and night shivering. By the way, Saoirse is pronounced "SEER-sha." It's Gaelic for Freedom. Nekkid Freedom. Hehe



Also, speaking of not amused? The dogs? Are pissed. They are trying to figure out how to get revenge for being nekkid.



He's plotting.



Saoirse just wants a chunk of vital flesh. I'm running to hide now.

Cuteness, Finished Object and Not So Cute.

Hi gang! So, shall we start with cuteness, the finished object or the not so cute? I'm afraid if I start with cuteness I may lose you for the rest of the post. The finished object I'm saving for the end because most of you won't believe I actually finished something. So I guess we head right for the not so cute. This....this used to be an orderly stash room.

I found this when I got home Friday and went to find some yarn. I think it's time for another installment of "Stupid Conversations Had At My House."

Me: Baby??

T: Yes?

Me: Why is my dining room in my stash room?

T: Cuz I moved it in there?

Me: You're an ass.

T: For moving the furniture?

Me: No..Well yes, but for giving me a stupid answer. Why did you move the furniture into my stash room?

T: Because we're ripping up the dining room carpet.

Me: Oh. Ummm...You're sister and her husband are due here next week.

T: Yeah, it's easier to rip up the carpet and claim construction than it is to try and clean the carpet.

Me: The carpet is so bad you'd rather rip it up, hoping there's a serviceable floor under it and claim construction??

T: Yes.

Me: Are we that damn messy?

T: Penny was. When was the last time you looked behind the dining room table? She destroyed it!

Me: Ummm...well....behind, huh?

T: You're so observant.

Me: Piss off, dear.

So yeah, we're ripping up the dining room carpet. I guess. It didn't happen over the weekend so I guess my next few evenings will consist of...carpet ripping. I'm doing a lot of guessing here folks.

So anyway, on to the cuteness! I cornered Saoirse in the living room and demanded a picture of her saying her presence was requested. I got this.


Cold shouldered. By my own dog. If she could have reached me to bite me, she would have, y'all. Luckily, she is lazy and I would not step closer to her. I swear vengeance upon her come Wednesday when I get home and she and Alex are back from the groomers. Hee!

Now, this is where Tinker sleeps while I play on the computer. My cat is retarded.

He sleeps on my left foot. Under my desk. Alex sleeps on my right foot. I have living slippers. This will rock in the winter time if it ever comes to Texas. Until then, I am dying with the hot feet.

Moving on past the cuteness.....move on, people. Come on, get off the pictures already. I am dangling a finished object in front of you. Yarny goodness. Wanna see?

It's a dog bone mat! For the babies' water bowl cuz they are messy drinkers. This thing is fully washable and it's acrylic. I really don't care how messed up it gets because I can whip out another one in a day or two! I used blue, green and white to match my kitchen. The pattern was found on the Crochetville forums and was designed by Andrea Wallace.

I finished something! Now I need to move chairs so I can get to my stash because I know a few people who need one of these for their furry beasties. I just need to know colors folks or I'll just make it "bone" color. Anyone want one? I like making these. E-mail me. Seriously. I wanna make you people dog bone mats. Now.

*Ahem* Sorry. Obsessive. I'll go take my meds now. Hee!

Yarn's Bound and Wound

Yarn's bound and wound, we're loadin' up and truckin',
We gonna drive past San Antonio.
We've got a long way to go, and a short time to get there.
We're West bound just watch ol' Stalker run.

Keep your foot hard on the pedal. Jo, never mind them brakes.
Let the yarn hang out cuz we got a run to make.
The girls are twitchy up in Dallas and there's wool to get in Boerne,
And we'll bring it back no matter what it takes.

Yarn's bound and wound, we're loadin' up and truckin',
We gonna drive past San Antonio.
We've got a long way to go, and a short time to get there.
We're West bound just watch ol' Skitter run.

Yarn's bound and wound, we're loadin' up and truckin',
We gonna drive past San Antonio.
We've got a long way to go, and a short time to get there.
We're West bound just watch ol' NanC run.

Ol' Smokey's got them ears on, he's hot on your trail.
He's gonna take your wool and lock you in jail.
So you got to dodge 'im and you got to duck 'im,
You got to keep that spinning wheel truckin'.
Just put that hammer down and give it hell.

Yarn's bound and wound, we're loadin' up and truckin',
We gonna drive past San Antonio.
We've got a long way to go, and a short time to get there.
We're West bound just watch these knitters run.


I...couldn't resist. Blame NanC. We're going to Kid 'N' Ewe. I got stalking to do. See you guys in Boerne. Yay!

Oh and if you haven't seen Smokey and the Bandit, shame on you. Go rent it now. The stalker compels you!

Menagerie

I really have nothing to follow up Austin with. I'm discussing Kid N' Ewe with the hubby and trying to ignore the coersion going on in the comments. Seriously. He wants me to go, we're just working out finances for hotels and such. Anyone want or need a roommate for Saturday night? I promise I'm fun to have around. Jo will attest to the fact that if it gets late enough I'll talk about damn near anything. Hee!

So to distract you from the lack of anything interesting, I give you pictures of Alex, Bonnie, Clyde and Tinker being his cutest self. I don't have any recent of Saoirse because she refuses to sit still for the blindy flashy thing after the shawl modeling debacle.


Someone needs a haircut. And a clue. Hee!

Happy girl!
Happy boy!


Mmmm.....they think they're tasty indeed.Love me, I'm cute.



Tinker says, "Why is the basket empty? Mommy wont share her yarn with me! Kitty abuse!" I think he's plotting my demise here. Eeeeevil kitty.

Austin Meet N Greet

Warning: This post is long and picture heavy. Yay!

How do you explain fun? How do you describe how awesome something was? I'll try, but damn, I don't know if I'll do it any justice. Seriously. I honestly figured there would be maybe 5 people there (including me) and that it might be a smidge awkward. I love when I am wrong. Sometimes. This time I loved it anyway.

As usual, I was running late to a function. Now folks, it doesn't matter if I leave at 7 am for a 2 hour drive when I don't have to be there until 10 am. I will be late. There will be accidents, construction zones and funerals. It's a given. I give up trying to be on time. I'm just going to accept my tardiness and be done with it. So I was supposed to be at Opal Divines by 10:30 am to be able to greet everyone and at 11:00 am I called the restaurant because I was still 45 minutes away. Shocked? No? Shut up. At least I called. Jeez. So I told the hostess to possibly expect people and to go ahead and seat them or whatever and let them know I was running late. Her response was that a few people had already showed and had been seated. Huh? People already? Cool! Then I began to panic. There were people already there and waiting. WAITING! Then it hit me. It's knitters. They have yarn. They are so not bored or anything.

So I finally arrived and by golly there was cheering! Mostly by me because I was out of Austin traffic and there was food in my future. Skipping breakfast is not so much for making a fun drive. I'll try and remember that in the future. We had a very nice turn out with folks from Austin, Dallas and Houston. You guys rock, you know that? So this is who showed up for our yarn party.



Let me see if I can get all the names right here. *Crosses fingers.* If I get anyone wrong, please let me know I'm an idiot so I can correct it. K? Thx. Starting with Jo in the blue shirt and going clockwise around the first table, Chris, NanC, Snowden (sadly blogless), Nancy (also sadly blogless), Ellie, Julia (who is hiding here but I got a pic of her tattoo. Hee!), Kristin, Meg and P-La. At the second table is Caro in the background and Stacy.

Here we have (from the left) Meg, Kristin and Amy showing proof that swatching happens. And what happens when there is no swatching?

Rrrriiiiiiiipppppppp. Poor Snowden. And she can't even blog her frustrations, hint, hint. We tried to promote blogging. We were ruthless. Ok, not really, but we can pretend, right?

Jene (below in the blue shirt, but sadly blogless as well) also came and played with us. Look at all the yarn on the table! So wonderful.


But then yarn on the table was the order of the day. Also, there was tattoo showings and adorable purses and project bags every-damn-where. And beer. There was definitely beer



Hi Julia's Leg!!


Also, there were some evil people there from a cool organization called Thundering Paws but y'all, they brought kittens. That needed homes. Kittens + Knitters = Lots of not looking that way cuz there are cute kittens. Also, lots of "Awwwwwwwww how cute!" There might have been a couple of "Well, we had talked about another kitten." and some "No, I cannot take a kitten home." I do not have a picture of the kittens. That would just be cruel. But if you click on the link for them, there are kittens. Consider yourself warned.

So all in all, I would say it was a grand success and will definitely happen again. It was so cool to get to meet everyone and it was just...damn fun, guys. There was yarn petting and pattern drooling and so much laughter. There was music, food and drink. There was talk of rotating the Meet 'N' Greet and I like the idea. I like the idea of rotating between Austin, Houston and Dallas so that the same people aren't having to make a long drive each time. Plus, it will allow those folks who simply cannot afford to drive across state to participate. No, we won't be holding one in El Paso, I'm sorry. There had been talk of San Antonio but, damn, this bunch loose on the River Walk? Scary. We'll see how we progress.

So around 3 pm, Chris, NanC and I headed for the Lonestar Knit Out and Crochet. It was nice and relaxing and we met some really cool folk there as well. I don't know names (unfortunately) but here are some of the pictures taken there.

Scary Doll. Cool sweater.


Now this next photo is a kicker. Everyone know of Mom of the did not give birth to me variety? The woman on the left in this picture, is her sister. I shit you not. I haven't seen her in almost 10 years. I flipped out.



The poor woman on the right with her finger stuck in her eye? She's the one who put the whole Knit Out thing in Austin together. She's allergic to wool, people. I will give you a moment to process the horror that is her knitting life. Bless her heart. She had to have been miserable all day.



I love that bright hat. I covet that hat.

And then this woman was perfectly lovely and fun to hang out with and she knit a Princess Leia hat!! How cool is that??



So around 5:30, Chris, NanC and I headed off to find food. Well, they ate and I sampled a bit. At 7:00 I met up with Jo and her lovely daughters for dinner at the Hula Hut in Austin and y'all, I cannot recommend it more. The food was fabulous, the atmosphere was awesome and the company was way too fun. There was singing and dancing in our seats and food. Damn good food. I won't tell you how late we hung out on the pier where the restaurant is, because it was an ungodly amount of time that just seemed to fly by.

I cannot thank everyone enough for coming out to play and just making it a very kick ass Saturday. I don't think we should do this once a year. I think we should do this once every 4 months so we hit all 3 major cities in a year. I miss everyone already and cannot wait to hang out again.

Because I Am Obviously An Idiot

Eek! This is going up much later than I wanted it to. Stupid, stupid work and the stupid, stupid customers. I have things to do people! I cannot be sitting around all day dealing with your problems! There is blogging to be done!

Anyway, is it Saturday yet? No? Dammit. So I thought I'd throw in a final idea of an itinerary (snerk) since, ya know, this whole Meet N' Greet thing is tomorrow and all. Here we go!

11:00 am - 3:00 pm

• Opal Divine's Penn Field. 3601 S. Congress Ave Ste K100, Austin, Tx.
• You can reach them at 512-707-0237 for directions. It's just south of St Edward's University.
• When I get there (hopefully before 11 am when they open) I'll make sure the door folks know of their impending doom and to steer anyone asking about knitters, crocheters or stalkers over to wherever they stick me.
• Bring a project! I like petting yarn. Hee!

3:00 pm - 6:00 pm

• Lonestar Knitters Knit Out and Crochet at Borders, 4477 S. Lamar, Austin, Tx.
• You can reach them at 512-891-8974 for directions.
• I would imagine there will be someone to follow. I have a map.
  
• Be afraid.

There will most likely be a hotel room involved Saturday night for myself to crash into, I honestly haven't decided. I should get on that, huh. Hopefully, none of the Harlot's big, hairy spiders will be involed. Otherwise, I'm sleeping in the hotel pool. Just sayin.

Dear, sweet Jeebus is it Saturday yet??

Oh, and there will be pictures taken and blog fodder happening. Do not be offended if I am sitting like an idiot writing down names and blogs. My memory is shit. Go ask Christina about my memory. She'll have stories. They might be funny, I don't remember.

See you tomorrow!!!

Yes, I Should Be Working. Shut Up.

So yeah, I know I should be working but I'm having a real hard time giving a shit today. I'm betting I'm gonna be having these days. Plus I was sick yesterday and I hurt all over because of it so I'm not really caring that our customers can't figure their computer systems out. No, I'm not being all depressed and blah, or maybe I am. How do you tell if you're depressed? Seriously, cuz I'm actually all excited about this weekend and trying to decide what project to drag along with me and just...I don't know, having a DAMN good time with strangers. I'm actually looking forward now to the next 3 months and finding new work and having a change. Maybe I wasn't meant to have a long term job anywhere. I get too bored easily. After about 2 years in one job, I tend to get twitchy. Perhaps this was all for the best.

Anyway, off the doom and gloom. Not much going on at Casa de la Stalker these days except cleaning, and that's not exciting. We've been re-arranging the living room and y'all, some of that shit hasn't moved in 3 years. I don't dust. It shows. So everything that got moved, got cleaned and let me tell ya, you can go through a crap load of cleaning wipes in one room. Hell, I even took all of our DVD's out of their racks and wiped them down. We won't discuss how nasty that was. The worst part of moving furniture that hasn't moved in 3 years? Untouched carpet. Carpet that no longer matches the rest of the carpet. If we have company, I'll be sitting on the pretty carpet to hide it. So sad.

So, yeah I have pictures! Yay! Looook at the shiny piiiictuuures. Don't think about your duuuuuust.

Tinker seems to be real comfortable in his new home. Hubby needs a shave. Tinker doesn't care.


I was also going to have a picture of Alex in the backyard here but when I took the pic, I didn't realize he chose that exact moment to hike his leg and we don't do doggy porn here, folks. And I can't wait to see what kind of hits I get from THAT little sentence.

Can anyone tell me what these are? They grow between our house and our deck every year and bloom every Fall. They're gorgeous and I want more of them. Anyone?



My grapevines are coming back and really seem to be enjoying the chicken wire we put up to keep Bonnie and Clyde in.


Here a shot of what it looks like if you stand in my backyard and look straight up. Our pecan trees have gotten huge!


And last but not least, remember the pear tree incident? I think you do. And remember this shot of the pear tree's revenge?


Pear trees says, "HA! Screw you, fence dude! I'm glad you cut me down cuz some of my limbs had that damn tree fungus. Not now, fence bitches! Look how healthy I am!"


You go on with your bad self, Mr. Pear Tree. You just go on.